Misconceptions of people develop quite easily, especially when we don?t know a person, personally or biographically, very well to begin with. Rumors sometimes fly and people believe them because there is no evidence to prove otherwise. This brings me to one person that I have read several interviews, testimonies, and biographies about - Bing Crosby. His reputation has been tarnished by claims that he was a horrific child abuser. These claims initially surfaced in the wake of two separate events. The first is when Bing?s son, Gary Crosby, published his book ?Going My Own Way?. Gary detailed his father?s continued use of physical punishment (such as spanking on the rear with or with out an object). The media completely misinterpreted what had been written, and blew it up to a case of severe domestic violence. Gary Crosby confirmed that misinterpretation in an interview. The second event came when Bing?s son Lindsay committed suicide. Many years after Bing?s death, the tabloids declared that Lindsey?s suicide note was found. The note supposedly said that Bing beat his children relentlessly every Christmas. So, what are the problems with these allegations? First of all, Lindsay, God rest him, was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which comes with a fair share of mental distress. Second, the Crosby house on Christmas, according to many sources, was a time of good cheer, caroling at different houses, and Midnight Mass. Wouldn?t someone notice abused children at a Midnight Mass? Gary himself denied those accusations when the tabloid piece was printed. Lastly, it?s a shame that this type of slander was published many years after Bing had died. That?s a lack of respect for the dead.

In all the interviews, books, and articles I have read, I could not find a solid piece of evidence that definitively established Bing Crosby (born Harry Lillis Crosby) as a child abuser. Crosby?s close friend Bob Hope, and even Crosby himself, admitted to being strict with their children. That?s just the way it was. There was a time to do things, a way to do things, and specific rules to be followed. That doesn?t necessarily add up to child abuse. I can name several parents who rule the house with an iron fist, but nobody is hurt in the process.

Society and child-rearing has changed a great deal over the years. Crosby?s method of ?tanning? his children?s behinds, especially with a belt or a shoe bottom, is automatically considered abuse. However, people forget that society has changed, and situations were approached much differently back then. Social values, standards, and morals are not what they used to be. Crosby raised his boys in the 1930s-1940s, and those minimal acts of punishment were completely acceptable by the general public. Teachers could even smack a child?s knuckles with a ruler. Today they would be fired faster than a flicker! As a child, Crosby was brought up with a raised hand at home and in school. It?s just how he was taught. People have a tendency to live their lives and carry themselves by what they learned in adolescence. It is no different today.

Crosby?s first wife, Dixie Lee, admitted to being sterner, while Bing never seemed to follow through with the punishments. She said Bing would punish the children for acting up and would take them out to a movie hours later. This aggravated Dixie because she felt the children wouldn?t learn from their actions in the long run. In fact, both Bing and Dixie Lee have been quite open about the times they punished their children with what is now called corporal punishment.

One of Dixie?s examples, taken from an interview in Movieland magazine, was when young Gary refused to come down for breakfast and demanded to be served in bed. Bing went to his room and moments later Gary was at the table - but found it hard to sit.

Bing always referred to one instance where the boys plucked the feathers from Dixie Lee?s canary in order to give it a summer suit. Bing claimed that he gave them summer suits by fanning their rears. However, Bing later stated that as the boys got older, that kind of physical punishment stopped because the boys ?carried too much thunder?. Instead, he resorted to things like curfews and taking away privileges.

I think it says a lot when a husband and wife are open about these issues. It shows that they aren?t trying to hide anything. Publicly expressing family dysfunction reveals a certain amount of reality. I?m inclined to believe that anyone?s family can be dysfunctional on some levels because nobody?s perfect.

The issue of corporal punishment is something I?ve experienced myself. Growing up, my three siblings and I were spanked on the rear or sometimes given a crack across the behind with my dad?s belt. On occasion we?d get a slap upside the head when we did something terrible. We didn?t get welts, broken bones or open cuts; but, we knew better next time. We continued our lives in a healthy, sane manner with two parents who loved us. In my college child development class, the teacher took a poll to see who among us was spanked as punishment. The majority of the class raised their hands. The same majority raised their hands again when asked if they would incorporate the same punishment with their future children. Some even commented/agreed that it?s the reason God made such fleshy behinds. Those people are well adjusted, all around, despite having been spanked.

Now, there isn?t a doubt in my mind that Crosby loved his children with all his heart. It also touched me that this very private man was able to analyze his own performance as a father in a widely-quoted interview.

?I think I failed them by giving them too much work and discipline, too much money, and too little time and attention. I just want them to be nice guys. I don?t care how big they are or how important. I?d just like them to be the kind that other people would like to have around. And I want them to be thoughtful of other people. I hate rudeness, thoughtlessness, and arrogance?, said Bing.

The Crosby sons readily denied their father?s failure.

?Dad was always there when we needed him,? said Philip.

?I don?t know of many fathers who gave more consideration to their children. Certainly he had to be away a good deal of the time. But what about all those summers we spent together? Two months on the ranch at Elko, another month at Hayden Lake in Idaho. And after Mom died, he took me to Europe for nine months. I can?t understand now that he didn?t give us enough of his time?, added Lindsay.

Whether or not Bing felt like a failure, he had another chance at fatherhood. He married Kathryn Grant and had Harry Jr., Mary Frances, and Nathanial. In this new family, there weren?t any accusations of child abuse in interviews, from outside sources, or in the two books Kathryn wrote about her husband. Bing still had the same mannerisms, but he changed his fatherly approach. Again, Bing voiced concerns, this time about raising his new family.

He said, ?Perhaps I was too strict with my four sons. Certainly I didn?t emphasize on the right sense of values. I thought I did, but none of them ever finished college. With my new kids I?m going to emphasize the importance of art and music and the literary classes and sort of de-emphasize athletics and see what comes out. Love is the important thing: love and the right sense of values, which include a respect for people, a love of God, and a pride in achievement.?

The fact that Bing changed his approach with his second family showed a great sense of judgment, despite what people believed about his first family. He was able to admit fault, which can be a rare quality in a celebrity. A lot of good can be said about Bing. I hope the people who see him as a contemptuous child abuser can see past that, and take into consideration the testimonies from the people who knew him best. What are the true definitions of child abuse and domestic violence? In my words, I?ll hit you and hurt you when I want to, because I want to. That just wasn?t Bing.

In America, we have a horrible habit of putting celebrities up on a pedestal. We have higher expectations of them based on how we see them in movies or out on the town. Bing Crosby had a reputation as a care-free, down-to-earth crooner like his character in ?Going My Way?, but when he played an alcoholic in ?The Country Girl?, he recalled a few people pegging him as a horrible person. When the tabloids began accusing the all-American boy from Spokane, Washington, he fell out of favor with many fans and non-fans alike. He was branded a contrived, immoral human being, simply because the tabloids wanted a great scoop. At the time, it may have put a dent in his image, but the negative publicity has died off over the years. Some people weren?t as lucky; Joan Crawford for example, a classic Hollywood actress with a supposed reputation as a child abuser. Films like ?Mommie Dearest? and other media satires fueled the fire. Media distortion runs ramped and it?s evident with magazines that thrive on celebrity gossip. Miss Crawford?s grandson confirmed this use of distortion and denied the allegations in a recent interview with our own webmaster Gary.